Thursday, December 17, 2015

Be aware of three actions in broken marriages that can lead to parental alienation

Three reasons ….

According to marriage statistics, nearly half of all first marriages will end in divorce while more than half of all second and third marriages fail.  Unfortunately, the victims of these separations are the children. Sometimes the children are used as pawns for they often have no voice.

The legal system decides which parent gains custody. The custodial parent wields the power and will often decide where the children will live and even what clothing they will wear.  Non-custodial parents become part-time parents and unfortunately often have limited visitation rights.

If a divorce is amicable, parents will compromise and work together to raise their children. However, problems often occur when marriages end badly.  In many custody hearings, parents treat the courtroom like a battlefield.  Both parties will hire attorneys and sling mud at each other like seasoned politicians.

Again, instead of co-parenting, some parents use their children as pawns to alienate the other parent.  A parent may try to alienate a child by:   
  1. Making negative comments about the other parent: For instance, a parent might say, “Sorry Billy, daddy is not going to pick you up this weekend because his fishing trip is more important.” However, what the mother fails to mention is that her ex had planned the fishing trip a year ago. Billy may think his father does not care about spending time together. (This is classic!)
  2. Moving away: A parent may move the child to another state or even several hours away. Limiting visits may appear as an intentional act to limit the non-custodial parent’s visitation. (This happens way too often)
  3. Withholding visitation rights: Although courts establish visitation guidelines, it does not mean the custodial parent will follow the rules.  Often, a parent may withhold visitation because the other parent does not do what they want the children around the other parent's family members for whatever reason. Many times the withholding of the visitation rights are subtle with statements like, "Oh I forgot .. I had to take the children to one of their classmates birthday parties .." However, courts consider visitation and child support as separate orders.  Even if the non-custodial takes the other parent to court for contempt, the non-custodial parent may have to miss work or hire an attorney. 
Although some marriages have no hope of ending amicably, parents should always consider the welfare of their children.  Sadly, children from broken families are more likely to feel insecure, become rebellious, or even blame themselves for the divorce.  For more information about parental alienation, please contact us at FMD for more details.    

Tuesday, December 8, 2015


Prenuptial Agreements: Can They Protect Future Custody Rights?

Prenuptial agreements are no longer strictly for the wealthy. Many couples are finding prenuptial agreements a helpful option for addressing many monetary issues before marriage. They are beneficial when one or both people have been divorced or have children from a previous marriage, and when one person has a substantially higher income than the other. 

In addition to ensuring monetary safety in the case of a divorce, many couples might wonder if a prenuptial agreement can protect an even more important asset-their parental rights for future children. It is not uncommon for courts to favor mothers in child custody cases, and men are often pushed from their children's lives, only getting two weekends per month and a couple of weekends in the summer to spend with their children. 

Unfortunately, there are no states in the United States that currently allow child custody issues of future children to be determined in a prenuptial agreement. The best needs of a child cannot be adequately determined before that child is born-circumstances can change so drastically in a relationship, and what may seem like the best scenario for a child in the beginning of a marriage might not be best for them ten years down the line. The courts approach child custody on a case-by-case basis, and take into account the current circumstances of each relationship. 

Nevertheless it is unfortunate that a prenuptial agreement cannot protect all of the rights of a father in case of divorce. A child needs both parents actively involved in his or her life in order to flourish and feel loved, and there are many fathers who try to provide this type of stability but are blocked or "Denied" at every turn. Courts need to understand that this hurts the child more than anyone, and fathers need to find the courage to stand up and fight against this injustice.

Forever My Daddy offers the resources and support that a loving father needs to ensure he is always a constant presence in his child's life. Please feel free to contact us to learn more about our understanding community. 

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Parental Alienation Causes Irreparable Harm to Children

Parental Alienation Causes Irreparable Harm to Children

A broken marriage or partner separation should never mean a breakup with the children. Parental alienation leaves a child confused and adrift in a world that emphasizes family values, but does little to foster parent/child relationships when parents live apart. So often fathers lose custody of their children, and visitation depends on the other parent's kindness or how much money a dad can afford to pay.
The price of a child support payment means nothing when compared to the price that the child and estranged father pay by losing out on the relationship that nature intended. Children should never be pawns in a court battle; however, they are often treated as chattel by the legal system.
In the groundbreaking book, Forever My Daddy: Denied, Dr.  Michael Joyner M.D. champions the cause of the silently suffering fathers who have lost part of themselves through the actions of the court, vindictive ex-spouses, and society's indifferent and often prejudiced attitude concerning the importance of a father's influence.
FMD Denied encourages the reader to have the tough discussions that seem taboo in modern society concerning getting ready for marriage, arranging custody through pre-marital agreements, and rebuilding bridges of trust and harmony in broken families. Forever My Daddy: Denied is a great gift to a son, uncle, brother, or any man who loves his children.
Forever My Daddy: Denied is required reading for anyone who is considering starting a family as well as those in the painful throes of separation, who fear losing their parental rights. You can contact us for more information about how you can join this important dialogue and support this cause.